Nostalgia- Unappeased Yearning to Return

For my second post of ProBlogger Challenge I’m going to stick to the theme provided by Write Tribe- Nostalgia. How can I not? I’m an utterly nostalgic person. In fact when I’m down, I think of the happy childhood days to cheer myself up. Almost everybody cherishes their childhood days- those days of no responsibility, when the only thing expected from you was to attend school and score decent marks (of course parents then were not as aggressive about marks as now). But you know what I loved? The summer holidays and the mid-term holidays in October when (unlike now) the school was closed for the entire month of October. I used to love the days when it used to rain so heavily that the schools had to be shut and we got an unexpected holiday. I remember burrowing myself in heaps of blankets with a book in my hand and falling asleep while reading the book.

The holidays were spent in my native place, Padubidri. The house that my father and his brothers built was an old, tiled house. But for us, it was nothing short of a beautiful palace. Surrounded by vast rice fields and huge playgrounds with trees, it was a paradise for us children. I think we used to be inside the house only for breakfast and lunch during daytime. Those days, there was no television at our home. But there was one in the village Panchayat office. So we used to watch all our favorite programs (mine was Chitrahar and Ramayan on Sundays) here. Cable TV came much later so there was only one channel- the great Doordarshan, but I swear, there were so many good programs on that one channel. These days there are thousand channels but not one good thing to catch on TV. I think when I came to higher primary school, my mother finally purchased a television set, and you should have seen the sheer number of people assembled in our house on weekends to watch a movie. And then there were late night movie marathons that we watched on a rented DVD and VCD players.

What I like about those childhood days was the simplicity. No mobile phones to distract you from the endless hours of reading. And internet was completely unheard of. There was the famous landline phone and we cousins used to communicate with each other using letters. When I received a letter in my name, I was so excited. And then to ponder over what to write back, thinking how to cover all the topics within the 3 blue pages of the Inland letters.

I know it’s not unusual for a sight or a visual to trigger off a memory, but for me, what acts as a stimulant is music-old Bollywood songs to be precise. I have always associated songs with a particular moment in my life. Like for example if I listen to Dil To Pagal Hai or Gupt songs, I remember that in the year these 2 movies had released, I had just finished my tenth exams and we had moved to a new house. And the neighbours(our landlords) used to play the songs in a loop, using cassettes and a recorder. We collected tape cassettes and displayed in a row of cases. IN THE HALL. Yes, we were typical middle class ( I can imagine Maya Sarabhai disdainfully commenting on us with her nose turned upwards).

And then there were books. I don’t know if I love books because they are associated with my childhood, or if I love my childhood days because of books. But these both are inextricably linked. We used to borrow books from a small circulating library-but usually my brothers were the ones who used to go for exchanging books. So my reading was initially limited to Archie, Tintin and Asetrix. But I’m not complaining. Later on, I started using my school library, and from then on books and I have been best friends.

I’m a highly nostalgic person. Anything and everything associated to my past is precious. Sometimes I feel that I live in the memories. But these memories are my happy place, my comfort zone. I can go on and on about the olden, golden days but since I want to keep the post short, I’ll leave you with the quote below.

 This post was written for Write Tribe Problogger October 2017 Challenge. #writebravely #writetribeproblogger

My First Smart Phone With Moto E #ChooseToStart

I read today on Facebook that a person spends 70% of his/her lifetime in recalling memories and thinking about a perfect hypothetical situation in their mind. I do that a lot! I love remembering and reminiscing about the happy moments of my life- the first day in my new school where I met my best friend with whom I’ll be celebrating two decades of friendship this year, the first time I had a crush and I proposed and he rejected (ok, that’s not a memory I love to recollect but it brings a smile on my lips), the first day of my dream job, the first salary check for a total sum of 4000/-, the first time I held my baby in my arms. But these days it’s not necessary to recollect everything from memory, which gets overloaded with excess information as we age.

With smartphones becoming more affordable and essential, it’s easier to just click photos and whenever you feel like going back to that particular moment just take out your phone and relive the moment again.

Of course the advent of the smartphone era dawned upon us only few years back and till then we had to make do with the grainy photos taken from a 2MP rear camera and if anyone would have uttered a word called selfie, we’d have probably misunderstood it for a kind of shellfish. Now even my 90 year grandmother knows how to click a selfie.

I got my first smartphone in August, 2012, a gift from my husband and it took him a couple of months to pay back the EMI which he had taken to buy the phone. Yes, buying a smartphone then cost as much as an entire month’s salary. For the first few months I didn’t know how to operate my smartphone. Whenever I tried to receive a call I had to swipe at the screen multiple times to answer it correctly. And the size of the phone was totally another matter. Sometimes I had to hold my phone in both hands while talking, because I was used to my palm-sized miniscule phone with a screen that was the size of my thumb.

Although there was an option to connect to internet on my phone, I never used it much. I preferred browsing using my laptop. And I didn’t know how to use the front camera. It was only when selfies became popular that I realized the worth of a good megapixel front camera.

It took me several months to become used to smartphone but once I got the hang of it, I became addicted. A smartphone has made life so much simpler and convenient. Ordering food, booking cabs, chatting with friends on Whatsapp, listening to online music, connecting to social media networks on the go, writing my blog posts, clicking pictures of perfect moments, watching videos with my daughter, playing online games-there is an app for every task in the smartphone. In fact the only thing that I use my smartphone very sparingly is for calling because I’m not a very call-friendly person. But still my smartphone is beside me at all hours of the day. Irony, isn’t it? But that’s the magic of smartphones-they are devices not just for calling but they offer entertainment and they keep me informed about what’s happening around the world.

My first smartphone is still with me; I haven’t bought a new phone because it was a gift from my husband and probably I’m waiting for him to gift me another one J

But it’s definitely time to upgrade myself to a better smartphone and the below image of my phone should justify my decision J

My next phone has to be sturdy because I carry my phone all the time and when you are around a hyperactive kid aged 3, there are more chances of your phone getting smashed/cracked/broken. (That’ll explain the above picture)

The new Moto E meets all my expectations and it offers cutting edge technology with user-friendly features in affordable price. The bright and colorful bands are easy to swap and give an extra dash of style and oomph to the phone. These patented bands come with a unique ridged pattern providing a better grip- a useful feature for me with a proven talent for cracking phone screens when chasing errant brats with phone clasped in slippery hands.

I also travel a lot and I’m scared of missing out on contests while I’m away from my home. My current phone has 3G networks and as for the speed of connectivity, the lesser said the better. As a result I lug my bulky laptop everywhere. How I wish that I had a new smartphone with a superfast connectivity using which I could submit a blog post in time. This is where Moto E fulfills my wish because with an ability to connect at 4G speed, I’d never have to worry about missing out on a contest. I can listen to music, connect on social media sites, read books on Kindle app and watch videos without being interrupted by the annoying buffering icon.

But when I’m constantly on the phone, I’d be worried about the battery life. I don’t want to carry my mobile charger everywhere, nor do I want to curb my fun because I’m worried about the battery on my phone going kaput. Moto E comes with a 2390 mAh battery that promises to last a full day so my recharging worries can be laid to rest.

But what good a smartphone is if I cannot click stunning photos? Moto E comes with a 5 MP rear-facing camera and a second camera in front which makes it perfect for clicking selfies or making video calls. Another feature of Moto E is Quick Capture which allows you to switch between front and rear camera just by twisting your wrist twice. That’s a wonderful feature to have for mothers like me who see a precious expression on their child’s face and wish that they had a smartphone to capture the moment. No more missing out on picture perfect moments when I have Moto E with me!

Images captured using my smartphone

The first picture that I clicked using my Smartphone

A smartphone is not just any phone. It unites the world together in happiness and grief. It allows to you to share and learn.  It becomes a true companion offering you entertainment and ability to connect with your loved ones even when you are far away in a distant land. A smartphone, in the present age, has become the smarter way of living.

All images sourced from https://www.motorola.com and http://www.startwithmotoe.com/

#ChooseToStart

http://www.startwithmotoe.com/ 

Starting a New Life in a New Home - #StartANewLife

When I got married and moved to Bangalore, my husband and I shifted to a brand new home and though our first home was a rented one, we were terribly excited. I had so many ideas on how to decorate our house and the new items that we would purchase for our home. When we went shopping for furniture and electronic gadgets I was like a kid in a candy store. There were so many options to choose from and I liked all of them.

But soon I realized that staying in a rented place comes with its own share of disappointments. Of course you are not burdened with a hefty EMI, you have to just hand over the rent each month and forget about it. No matter how much I renovated our house and tried to mark it with my individual taste and creativity, at the end of the day the fact that the house is not mine always crawled into my thoughts. And there were restrictions- I couldn’t choose the paint, I couldn’t hammer the nails to hang the photos, I couldn’t add any additional furnishings other than what was provided by our owners.

Then in just one and half year, we decided to undertake a huge financial risk by taking a home loan and buying our own piece of heaven. We settled on the 4^th floor 2BHK house in the apartment at V B Layout. Honestly I fell in love with the area as soon as I saw it and after living for 4 years I still vouch for it as it's one of the best residential areas. It has parks, schools, restaurants, shopping malls and movie complexes all within short distance. It even has a library- JustBooks within walking distance. My husband thinks that it was the last point which clinched the deal for me J

We were worried about the home loan and the number of years it would take to pay back the loan but we knew in the long run it was a good investment. So after heavy discussions we decided to take the plunge and buy our flat.

The day of GrahaPravesh

I was super excited and almost every weekend I insisted on driving to our apartment and inspecting the progress, all though our floor was still in initial stages of development. We decided on the woodwork-the wardrobes, the TV unit and the kitchen cabinets. A few months after we booked our flat my husband and I got the biggest news of our lives.

I was pregnant!

The realization that we would be starting our new life in the new home along with our baby was the icing on the cake. We had to change our plans a little bit and the second bedroom was now converted into a nursery/ guest bedroom. We shifted to our home in November 2011, when I was 9 months pregnant and my daughter was born in March.

I love my house because it’s a place where I can just be, I can relax and unwind after a tiring day. The feeling of coming back home after visiting my mother’s place or my in-law’s place is one of pure joy and delight. Unlike my husband, I can spend days in my house as long as I’m provided with good books and endless supply of tea.

My favorite corner of my house is my bookshelf that I bought last year. I love turning my eyes towards it every now and then and admiring the rows of books that stand proudly on the shelf.

My precious bookshelf

Our new life in our home has brought so much joy and happiness and even though our EMI cuts into our monthly expenses it’s totally worth it. I think the decision to buy my own home was the best decision I have taken in my life.

https://housing.com/

Let Nothing Hold You Back #BefikarUmarBhar

An incident that occurred recently in my life made me realize how fickle life is and how we run behind inconsequential things all our life. We ignore our family members for the pursuit of finer pleasures, let petty fights ruin cherished relationships, let our ego get bigger than us. We miss out on the fun of living life because we want to have a perfect high salary job, we want to secure an apartment in the tallest building of the city, we want our kids to have the best education possible, and we want to dine in the most upscale restaurants. But don’t you think that in the race of providing the best for us and our family, we are missing out on life’s sublime happiness.

I don’t remember when was the last time I stopped for a while and bent to admire the flowers in my garden or when I picked up the phone and called all my friends and talked to them for hours, just like we used to do when we were in college. Sometimes I wished that I had a pause button in life, so that I could freeze time and relax and enjoy my life. I try to console myself saying that this is the phase of my life where I should work, earn and make a comfortable nest of savings, so that 10 to 15 years down the line I can retire peacefully and be financially independent to do whatever my heart desires. But then again, who has seen tomorrow? What if I die today? Wouldn't I repent not doing things that I have always wished to do?

What if someone told me that I had no constraints to hold me back? What would I do? What if someone assured me that my family’s future is financially secure? Would I follow my heart and tick off some of the items on my bucket list? Of course, I would!

I would jump at this chance because it’s what I always dreamed of- the freedom to live my life as per my wishes and not be dictated by a schedule that is forced down by a corporate that doesn’t understand the need for my balance in professional and personal life.

So here are the 5 things from my bucket list that I would strike off if I was given the chance to live my life #BefikarUmarBhar

Travel solo- This year I have decided to travel alone. I would love to travel through the beaches in Goa and the backwaters of Kerala and if money is not an issue, I would also love to go to exotic locations. The freedom to plan my itinerary and visit all the places that I wish is like a dream come true. It would be a glorious vacation, I’m sure.

Open a bookstore- The choice of my profession was influenced by the amount of money that I could save after paying off all the bills and the monthly installments. My contentment in my job was never a factor in the decision. But now I realize that if could, I’d have turned back time and gone back to choose what I wanted.  I want to open a bookstore where the walls would be filled with bookshelves cramped with books. People could wander around, select a book that they like, put up their feet, order their coffee and have an uninterrupted time reading their favorite authors. For people like me such a place would be a paradise.

Take my mother and my mother-in-law on a vacation- These are two women I admire the most because of the way they have selflessly lived their lives. And I cannot find women who deserve a vacation more than them. I would love to take them abroad, to cities that they would have never heard of, to send them to spas where they can relax with rejuvenating massages and take them shopping and pamper them.

Write a full length novel- I don’t have the required discipline or the dedication to sit down for long periods and write a full length novel. I do write short stories because it takes lesser time but I wish that one day I’d write a novel and it gets published and that it becomes a best seller. Seeing my name and my work of words in print gives me an exhilarating feeling that I cannot describe. Of course since I don’t have to worry about going to work and earning, I can use all my free time in writing.

Meet J K Rowling- I haven’t been this fascinated by a writer since a long time. I love Harry Potter series and recently I have been captivated by her novels in the Crime and Thrillers genre. I would love to meet J K Rowling and maybe get inspired by her thoughts. I hoped and prayed that she would come to Bangalore soon, but since I don’t see it happening in the near future, maybe I can meet in her own country. Wouldn’t it be awesome to hear the inside scoop of Hogwarts life from the creator herself?

All my life I have worked hard to build a better and financially secure future for me and my family. But somewhere along the meticulous planning and the daily grind of everyday life I have forgotten to enjoy the present. It is time to live in the present and enjoy what life has to offer because there is no better time like now.

This post was written for IDBI Federal Life Insurance #BefikarUmarBhar contest hosted by Indiblogger.

Grab The Second Chance That Life Throws At You

Procrastination is not a trait that I am particularly proud of to possess but it is definitely a part of my characteristics. Every year my New Year resolutions contain items that were put off from the last year and invariably end up in the list for the next year too. But this year I am adamant to at least strike off some of the things that I have been relegating to the future.

Have you watched the movie Dasvidaniya? I have and it was interesting to watch a man with limited time in his life try to check off the things in his bucket list. Do I have a similar bucket list? Of course I do but unfortunately none of the things are ticked off the list. What if I find myself in a similar situation like Vinay Pathak in the film? What if I found out that my days are numbered? Would I want to fulfill some of the desires that I never found time for? Would I crave to risk my life on an adventurous journey? Yes, I would! I would do everything that my heart wished for.

With a second chance to live my life, I would unquestionably want to accomplish these below three things in life. I have been procrastinating them for a long time because of trivial reasons like shortage of money or time but I have realized that there is no right time like now.

Take a solo vacation- I have never travelled alone and every time I think of having the independence of deciding what I want to do on a vacation and not be dictated by time or a schedule of a family member, my heart leaps with joy and excitement. I love spending time with myself, so there is no doubt in my mind that I would enjoy my solo vacation. I would love to travel to Switzerland, Venice, Rome and Italy. I would eat what I want, visit the places that I liked, stay in places that I love and if I so wanted I would just spend the whole day lazing around. It would be adventurous but it would be exhilarating and liberating too.

Write a full length novel- Ok, so I have been postponing this from a long time. When I worked professionally I would complain that I didn’t have enough time and now that I am at home, I complain that I don’t have enough motivation to write. Although a million ideas run in my mind, I don’t have the discipline to sit, plan and write a full length novel. When I read blog posts from writers about how they follow a dedicated writing schedule, I wish I had their discipline and their perseverance. I would love to see my words in print and my name amongst famous and successfully published writers.

Open a book house- As a child when people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I said I wanted to become a librarian, and they would stare at me strangely. A librarian is not particularly a lucrative profession but for a bibliomaniac, like me, it is a dream profession. An unlimited access to books and plenty of time on hands to read as many books as I want-what more do I want? But with my friends joining Engineering course and earning high salaries by being software engineers, my mind wavered. I went with herd mentality and decided for a hefty paycheck, sacrificing my love for books. But even now, when I allow my mind to wander, I dream of being surrounded my millions of books and having company with like-minded people. If I was given a second chance to opt for my career, I would want to open a library where people can wander in, select a book, and if they so desire, they can put up their feet, drink a cuppa, and relax with a book. For a mother, like me, with no peace at home and my kid clambering all over me whenever I pick up a book to read, this kind of library is a heavenly sanctuary.

There are only a few handful people who can say they don’t require a second chance in their life to accomplish whatever they have repented not doing. And I have listed out the three things in my bucket list that I wish I could do, if I was given a second chance in life. What are the items you would want to strike off in your bucket list?

“This post is a part of the #SecondChance activity at BlogAdda in association with MaxLife Insurance”.

The burden of a guilty conscience

The year was 1998 and I was studying in my XI class in Mangalore. Although I was a shy and reserved teenager, I had two best friends and together we had a whale of a time. We came from middle class families and whatever little pocket money we received each month was spent within few days. For the rest of the month we relied upon the small savings that we had amassed from the money that we received from relatives when they visited during festivals. Looking back at those days, they were so much fun and we had a blast roaming the small lane near Venkataramana temple. Don’t get me wrong, we weren’t overly religious. The reason why this lane was our favorite haunt was because it had some of the best chat stalls and Gobi Manchuri stands. My two friends Arpita and Suma were foodies like me and we were always on the lookout for new eateries that served delicious and affordable food. 

Apart from eating, we also loved watching movies but our meager allowance did not permit us to watch a movie in theater.  We had to be content in watching movies by renting VCDs and watching it in Suma’s house where she had a CD player. During the summer that year a blockbuster English movie came to our city and all the girls were raving about this cute and attractive actor of the movie, Leonardo DiCaprio. The romantic movie, Titanic, had taken the country by storm and anyone who watched the movie couldn’t stop talking about it.

Arpita, Suma and I decided that we wanted to watch the movie in a cinema hall but one look inside our purse and we realized that we did not have enough money. We desperately wanted to watch the film, especially after some girls whispered about a scene where the actress was painted naked by Leo. ;)

I knew asking my mother for money wouldn’t do any good. After my father expired my mother was the sole provider in our family and she had to feed, clothe and educate her three children. No matter how much she planned our expenses, she was always short of money before the end of each month.  My friends were also of the opinion that asking money from parents wouldn’t be of much use as they obviously did not encourage us watching movies. And going to a movie hall to watch a romantic English movie was nothing but a sin.

We plotted an idea of inventing a fake cultural fest in our college. We went to our respective houses and described in great detail to our parents about the fest and how participating in such events would matter during our selection in prestigious degree colleges. My mother agreed that taking part in such cultural events would make me more confident and bold. Although she was always complaining about not having enough money, she readily gave me the 100 Rs that I had asked for as participation fees.

The next day my friends and I had a blast watching the movie. We couldn’t stop crying when Leo sacrificed his life for Kate and we confessed we were in love with him. I quickly forgot about the lie that I had told my mom but a week later my mother asked me about it. My guilty conscience started gnawing at me. I knew my mother faced a lot of hardships to raise me and my brothers after my father’s death.  She had started working in a bank and she was abruptly pushed into an alien world. She had gone from being a mere housewife to the sole breadwinner of our family and the transition had been scary and intimidating for her. I remembered all the sacrifices that she had quietly done for us. 

What I had done was wrong and my mother deserved to know the truth.  It was extremely painful for me because I knew my mother would be hurt and angry. But I simply couldn’t live with the glib lie that I had told.

So with trembling legs and quivering voice I said my mother about how I had tricked her. How my friends and I had gone to the movie with the money that she had given. The words kept pouring until my soul was purged of all the guilt and shame. 

My mother was listening to me quietly and at the end of my confession she just sat there with tears in her eyes. Her silence was more agonizing than any other form of punishment. I wished that she would hit or scream at me, but that quiet anger of my mother was ripping me apart. I begged for her forgiveness and promised to never lie to her. After what seemed like an eon, she hugged me and said that she appreciated that I had gathered the courage to speak the truth. Perhaps she knew that I had already learnt my lesson.

That day I realized that it took more grit and determination to confess and speak the truth than to lie or deceit someone. 

This post was written for Kinley's contest hosted by Indiblogger.

Love

I tried so hard to convince myself that

Love is not everything in life.

I looked around and saw millions of people living a loveless life

And yet they appeared to be perfectly happy.

And then my eyes fell on the wet pillow soaked with my tears,

I remembered those lonely nights when my arms reached out to hug you but all I found is an empty space.

And I realized that love is not everything,

But without love, without you, life is nothing.

My Book List

Trying to select 10 favorite books from all the books that I have read is like asking a mother to pick her favorite child. I started reading when I was around 14 years and my favorite haunt to pick books was the City Central Library next to Aloysious College in Mangalore. Unfortunately some books that I read during that period remains as a blurred memory in my mind, but the fact that I still remember reading them is enough to suggest that these books have created an impact on me.

My small but precious collection of books

So without further ado, here’s my list of 10 favorite books-

1) Harry Potter series by J K Rowling- Harry Potter books are magical, and if I had to choose one book from the series then it would be ‘The Deathly Hallows’ because many of my “Why, my God Why?” questions were finally answered!

2) Nancy Drew and Hardy Boy series- I absolutely loved these detective series and I just couldn’t get enough of them. I even tried writing something on similar lines when I was a teenager J

3) Slugs by Shaun Hutson- This was one of the books that I read very early in my life but I still remember it so vividly. This was also one of the first books where I came upon a sex scene in the book and I recollect being secretly embarrassed and excited reading through the pages.

4) Can You Keep a Secret by Sophie Kinsella- I love books that make me laugh and this book, which I read recently, made me laugh out loud, thus inviting strange stares at home and in public places. I had a huge crush on Jack Harper, the male protagonist and if ever, I had a boy friend then it would be someone like Jack Harper J

5) Catherine Alliot’s Rosie Meadows Regrets and Olivia’s Luck- I think my love for chick lit started with Alliot’s books and I remember laughing and reading the books that I had borrowed from the local circulating library.

6) Sidney Sheldon- During one phase of my life, I have read nothing but Sidney Sheldon. I have devoured his books morning, noon and night. My favorite, if I had to name one, would be Tell Me Your Dreams.

7) Khaled Hosseini’s The Kite Runner- I read this last week and even though I had loved his ‘And the Mountains Echoed’, I found the narration by multiple characters slightly disorienting. But The Kite Runner was absolutely riveting. There was a lump in my throat as I finished the book. I avoid sad stories but there was a line in this book that could be aptly used for this poignant book- Sad stories make great books.

8) James Patterson-Alex Cross series. Ok, I admit! James Patterson books are like junk food, you want to stop reading them because at some point you realize that his books more or less follow the same protocol but still you cannot stop picking up his books. I got addicted to them after reading the first two in the series- Along Came a Spider and Kiss the Girls which I still think were his best works in Alex Cross series.

9) Q & A by Vikas Swarup- I have watched the movie and read the book and the book is a million times better than the movie. I did pick his “Six Suspects” but unfortunately it was a sore disappointment.

10) Enid Blyton- I think my childhood wouldn’t be the same if I hadn’t discovered Enid Blyton’s books. Secret Seven, Famous Five, Malory Towers- all these books gave me company on those sweltering summer holidays, under the mango trees. How I wish I could turn back time and return to those wonderful days!

Reading and coming across good books is a journey that I would never want to end. As I write this post I look forward to reading the couple of books that I have ordered- Train To Pakistan by Khushwant Singh, The Silkworm by Robert Galbraith and Fault in Our Stars by John Green and hope that these books find a place in my heart along with the other countless books that I have read J