I think most women would agree when I say that, there comes a stage in life when your mother crosses over the line of being just a mother and starts becoming a friend. Although I don’t remember when that happened in my life, I do remember the talks my mother and I shared discussing about my college crushes. And when that occurs, you know your mother is also a friend.
I blogged many times about how my mother, after being widowed in her late 30s went on to bring up her 3 children and started working in a bank. It was the first time she was working in her life, and to do that in a very vulnerable phase of life must have been scary and tough. But she did work for 20 years of her life and when she finally retired at the age of 60, she was sorry to let go of her dear job that gave her financial independence and instilled a sense of confidence.
She has stood by me at times when everyone abandoned my side and then there were times when we have fought fiercely with words and days of stretched silence. And of course we have broken each other’s hearts many times and said harsh words. But despite that we love each other deeply and cannot live without speaking over the phone every other day.
My mother is fiercely independent and I remember when she had to live with my brother in his house, she was fidgety. She never likes to be dependent on anyone and I think she developed this streak in her personality after she started working.
At times when she likes to reminisce, she used to talk about my father. I don’t remember him as he passed away when I was just a baby but my mother often says that he was not a very expressive person. It wouldn’t have been easy living with a person like that but when my mother speaks about him, it is with a smile on her lips. That speaks volumes of the unvoiced love that stood between them.
Often I wonder how different our lives would have been if my father had been alive. Maybe I would have got married earlier (I married at 28 which is late as per Indian standards) and maybe my mother would have still been the pliant, dutiful housewife who stepped out of the house only to buy vegetables. My mother believes in fate and I do too.
My mother is the reason for the person that I am today- free, independent, confident and courageous enough to know that in the end I will still survive, that I have the ability to withstand the turbulent times and stand tall. Thank you Mom!