Me and my Work

In this post, I would like to draw you into yet another sphere of my life. This part of my life is kinda responsible for building up my character and making me into the person that I am today. I am talking about my professional life that’s been with me for the past 7 years. I was working as a lecturer (*Ahem, Ahem*) for the first one and half year. And all though I loved teaching, it was not the kind of job that I was aspiring to do. Most of my friends were in IT, and it was my dream to become an IT professional.

My dream came true on 13th February, 2006 when I joined a small start-up IT Company called Invenger in my hometown, Mangalore. I started off with a paltry salary of 6k per month. But it was a hell of an experience working in this company; I learnt a lot, made huge mistakes but overall fine-tuned my IT skills here. I owe a lot to the people who worked with me in Invenger. I joined as a software tester and today I work in Dell as an “Application Management Advisor”. Funny thing is, my designation has nothing to do with my job. I am still a software tester. What exactly software testers do? We test software applications and raise defects against any anomaly we find, and once we are satisfied that the product is relatively bug-free (duh! There is nothing like 100% defect free products), we give a green signal that the product can be released in the market. Now before you call your lawyers with plans to sue me for all the flawed software you use, let me clarify that I test software that only our Dell Customer Representatives use. I am safe (Phew!)

This leads me into another realization that I have on myself. Have you noticed how your professional attitude often defines your character? For example, as testers we need to be excessively pessimistic. When we get software to test, our main goal is to find many defects in it so as to break the system completely. We are trained to think negatively in our domain. And that attitude kind of spills out into my life too. Given any situation my first thought is, ‘Naaah, it will not work’ or ‘This thing will never happen in my life’. NO, NEVER, CANNOT are the testing mantras. Also, most testers have an aggressively defensive attitude. This is because when we raise bugs, most of the developers do not agree that their code can be defective. So more than often, we testers need to argue our case and provide ample proof to validate the issues we raise. In fact, I have thought up of an alternative career choice for myself, if ever I require it. Lawyer! I have considerable skills in arguing my case and proving my point. Don’t believe? Talk to my husband :-)

Like most typical people, I crib a lot about my job. The stressful hours, the practically nonexistent hikes in salaries, the inconsiderate managers, the manipulative co-workers, the unbelievable deadlines and the late night meetings/conference calls, everything makes my miserable life more miserable.

 I am grateful that I have always shared good rapports with my managers, but I have also had a fair amount of exposure to extremely rude and manipulative co-workers. These people think nothing of trampling on others to work their way up in the corporate ladder, and I have learnt to be extremely wary and cautious of such people. Despite all this what is it that makes me get up every day and punctually let myself into my air-conditioned cramped cubicle (Apart from the paycheck at the end of the month, I mean)? The adrenaline rush when I am on the verge of finding a potential issue that others may have missed is a thrill like none other. My heart beats a wee bit faster and my brain goes dizzy due to overload in cerebrum activity. That’s what keeps me going and all though I have thought like zillion times of quitting my job, I don’t think I can do it cause I love my job too much.

 

I am a sucker for praise and appreciation and if I have to cite one day in my professional life that I’ll always remember, then it will be the day I received the “Most Valuable Player” award in my first company Invenger. It was a great honor for me. Your first job and your first love will always remain unforgettable and for me, my job in Invenger will always remain a golden memory to be cherished forever.

I'm signing off with few Dilbert strips. It says all :-)

WHAT GOOD AM I WITHOUT YOU

I have been blogging for quite a while now and I have always written about things that affect me the most. But I am yet to write about the most influential person who has affected me unlike any other in my life. Have you ever had the feeling that you are living life for the sake of another person? That without this person, you would rather be dead. I have been constantly living with this feeling throughout my life. And this person, without whom my life would not be same, is my mother.

I lost my dad at very young age, when I was just about 4. But I have never missed having a father cause, I don’t know what it’s like to have a dad. Ever since I remember, I have seen my mother go out to work daily, return in the evening to cook and care for us. She was both our caretaker and care-giver. We were three kids, my two elder brothers and me. Since I was the youngest of the three, I was least affected by some of the major changes that happened in our life after my dad’s death. My mother had never stepped out of the house to work and earn in her life, but after my dad’s death she was suddenly thrust into this alien world. My dad used to work in a bank and after his death the job went to my mom (A policy that was revoked few years back). I dint know at that time, but my mom used to cry every night cause she was scared, she dint understand the banking world(She had studied only till her 10th). She had to work to feed us, but slowly and steadily she learnt and when she retired after 20 years, she was sad cause she would miss a part of her life that she had come to love. Her job, her independence gave her freedom, it instilled confidence in her that she could tackle the world and take care of her children without a man in her life.

My early memories of my childhood was of standing near our house gate every day at 6 PM sharp in a small petticoat and waiting for my mom to return back from her work. When I could see her at the end of the road, I would feel happy, partly because of the goodies she would get for us to eat. I don’t know how she managed to feed, clothe and provide a roof over our heads with her meager salary. She ensured that we got the best of education, especially me, cause she wanted me to be prepared for any obstacles in the world outside. I remember to my naïve mind my mom was a magician who could solve all my problems in a jiffy.





She has been my best friend, a friend with whom I could go shopping with, a friend with whom I could share stories about my crushes as well as heart-breaks, a friend that I could always depend upon. She stood by me at times when everyone was against me, and she had to face a lot of flak for supporting me. I remember the time we took a road trip from Bangalore to Mysore to Ooty. It was only she and me and we had a blast of a time together. We travelled from Bangalore to Mysore in a bus sitting in the last seat, and hysterically thinking that the guy in the next seat is having a shot of heroine (my mom’s version).

My mom is now 64 years and grown old, but I see her so alive and full of energy (She currently wants to learn how to use internet so that we can video chat). I stay miles apart from her now, but it’s mandatory we speak once every day and sometimes more than that. I just don’t think that I can live without her, cause I don’t see any reason for me to live when she’s not there. Being the eternal pessimist that I am, I constantly worry about her old age and deteriorating health. I remember many years back, I had a nightmare that I was sitting in an empty, hollow room and I had lost my mother and there was feeling inside me, like my life was being sucked out of me. I had this dream only once, but every time I remember it, my breath becomes shallow and my heart constricts out of fear. I have never confessed these innermost feelings, cause I am not sure if everybody can understand them. I truly believe that I have found my soul mate in this life and I just really really wish that I can be the same wonderful mother to my kids as my mom is to me.

This post has been selected for the "Tangy Tuesday Picks" at Blogadda.

 

My First Blogoversary

  

Ok I am guilty, guilty of ignoring my blog for too long and not writing any new posts for weeks. But I have a valid reason, there have been some major changes in my life. Unfortunately I can’t share it on my blog, but when the time is right I promise to write a complete post on this phase of my life. Anyway I am happy with these changes and now that I am settled back in my life, I am back to blogging with full of zest.

In the midst of all the madness engulfing my life, I totally and completely forgot my blog’s first anniversary. I know I should be guilty and believe me, I am. I started blogging in June of 2010, but I took it seriously only after few months. Blogging has affected me in many ways and changed my life for better. Initially I faced a lot of problems as I knew nothing about the blogging world. I always liked to write but I dint know how to promote my blog, none of my friends blogged, so I dint know whom to ask. Finally I took help from the universal guide-Google. Slowly I learnt about blogging and in fact I am still learning.

I remember initially I floundered on topics to write on my blogs. I dint know what to write about, I used to think about topics that would attract more readers. But then I stopped writing for a while and started reading other blogs. And then I understood the essence of good writing is not writing about what others would like. It’s writing about your passions in life, about things that affect you in life. No matter how mundane the topic, if you are really passionate about it, then it will seem interesting to others. I love books so I decided to write reviews about books I read. I get affected by the problems faced by women in day to day life. I wouldn’t call myself a die-hard feminist but yes I feel women are not appreciated enough in a man’s world. On second thoughts, maybe I am a feminist. My blog becomes a medium to vent out my frustrations and in the end it makes me a better person. You know how it’s bad to keep your frustrations pent up in your mind. And if people like what I write about, what I feel passionate about, nothing else could make me happier.

Blogging has become more of a need to me and I enjoy reading other blogs too. There so many good bloggers out there and I mean DAMN GOOD. Taking out time to write is becoming increasingly difficult in the maddeningly hectic life that I lead, but as I said it’s a need. And when you like something you make time for it. So HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR BLOG. And all though I am already a li’l (Ok Ok a lot!) late, I Love you my blog and I promise to write to more often, unlike my poor performance in the previous year. Time to sign off before I get too emotional and my tears spill over on my laptop. Ciao…