When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi

When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi- this was a book that lay dormant in my to-be-read pile for quite some time and it was just recently, I finally got around to reading it. I am not a non-fiction reader but the book was very much hyped and of course it has an emotional angle to it also- a brilliant physician who is forced by fate to face his own mortality. I had another reason for wanting to read this book-my own fascination about death. I don’t talk about it loud with people around me-like family and friends because they will assume that either I’m off my bonkers or I’m under deep depression. You see fascination with death is considered to be morbid, but at the same time we are all aware of our own mortality.  

Paul Kalanithi who believed in a purpose to life, in finding what makes life meaningful and worthy of living, comes face to face with his own death when he is diagnosed with lung cancer. As a successful neurosurgeon-scientist, at the end of his residency in Stanford, he is shattered. The book can be seen divided in two parts-the first part deals with his journey in his profession as a doctor and the reason why he considers neurosurgery as his calling. The second part deals with his battle with his disease and how he chose to bring in a new life even when his own days on earth were numbered. What comes across of his persona, is a man who is passionate about the work he does and strives to not only cure his patients but also make them understand (to some extent) of what they will have to endure because of their illness. Such empathy and kindness in doctors is rare-we may have doctors who are brilliant in their field of work, but Paul wanted to know what made his patient’s life worth living so he could ensure that his treatment did not strip off his patient’s identity. This makes sense with the ending that he preferred to his own life.

However his narration is very clinical and that may be the reason why I remained dry eyed through the first two parts. He approaches his illness as a doctor but the epilogue by his wife, Lucy Kalanithi, shows how Paul’s family had to come to terms with their loss. It made me tear up to realize that often death leaves a profound impact on the people who are left behind rather than those who leave us.

Most of us are scared about death, scared of talking about it and discussions about it is considered as ill-omen by the elders in the family. What is it exactly about death that scares us? Is it that the phenomenon of after death is still a mystery or the fact that we don’t know when exactly we would die- makes death appear ominous? Here again Paul’s insight helped me to understand more on my own musings. He says, in the book, that his diagnosis of cancer changed nothing in his life. He knew that he’d die someday but he didn’t know when. After cancer this still remained same. Terminal illness made him realize that his life on earth was short but he still didn’t know if he would live for 2 months or 2 years.

I remember few lines from a poem of Sri Aurobindo

“Life only is, or death is life disguised, -
Life a short death until by Life we are surprised. “

Sri Aurobindo considered death as another kind of life, an after-life and he compares life to a short death on earth until we are surprised with the after-life.

Paul Kalanithi’ s book may be a memoir to his daughter but it also helps people like me(with a “morbid” fascination of death) to gain a deeper and philosophical understanding that death is not dying but withholding from life and not living life to its fullest possibilities.

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A Product Review for Matrikas Paper Products

Books are magical because they take you to a far away land, that you would have otherwise never imagined to exist. They tell you stories, they make you cry, they make you laugh out loud, they make you sit on the edge of your seat in suspense and sometimes they keep you awake all night in fear, long after you have read that horror book.

Although I rarely write using paper and pen these days, I love collecting diaries and I remember when I was in college I used to maintain a diary (inspired by Dear Diary digests of Betty Cooper). And in this diary I used to write down every single crush of mine. I was petrified that it would, one day, fall in the hands of my brothers and then there would be a major row. But fortunately my brothers were never interested in the silly stuff that I wrote in my diary.

I also wrote a lot of short stories, inspired by the Nancy Drew books that I eagerly read. How I wish I could return back to writing on the good old paper, but I know my illegible writing would be difficult to understand, even by me. But somehow I felt this odd urge to pick up a pen and start writing again.

So when I received a collection of stunning books from Matrikas, I was extremely happy and excited. I promised myself that I would write in it-such pretty books deserve words to be written within it. But first I stared at the lovely covers and all the information that was given in it. And of course I flipped the pages and smelled it. I do love that amazing book-ish smell that new books emanate and sometimes I feel that it’s so good that it should be bottled J

I loved the cute diary which comes with a band. I imagine it would deter any inquisitive eyes that would want to read my diary. Of course my indecipherable handwriting would make this an impossible task otherwise too. But somehow the band securing the diary gives out a strong message- “Stay away pesky noses”.

I also loved the Shirdi Sai Baba notebook and that’s because I went for that option during my registration in Matrikas Blogger Outreach Program. I am not overtly religious but I have strong faith in Shirdi Sai Baba and when I received this book, I immediately knew what I would use it for. For some time now, I planned to write a full length novel- I have the idea, the characters, and the plot, everything in my head. But unfortunately I lack the discipline to sit and write and so, I have been giving a whole lot of silly excuses not to write, like not having the ideal notebook to start writing in. When I saw the Shirdi Sai Baba book, I knew that my plot would evolve in this book.

The cover feels so smooth to touch and it also has a short biography of Shirdi Sai Baba inside the book. Also I loved the handy pages where I can list the books I want to read, work to be accomplished and places to visit.  It kind of gives a personal touch to your notebook.

The last book that I had in my hand was the “Toss and Turn” notebook with an eye-catching blue cover. The 6 subject notebook that I received had an illustration of an old traditional game called “Tiger and Goat”, which honestly I had never heard of before. For people like me, unaware of how to play this game, the back end page explains the rules and instructions. 

Wow, I wish I had this notebook during my engineering days. It would have definitely made the dull and dreary afternoon theory classes more interesting. The Toss and NRUT book was my favorite because of its dazzling cover and the interesting game combination. It’s like I had knowledge and entertainment bundled in one package.

I loved all the three books that I received as part of this program. The covers of the book were unique and interesting, the pages of the notebook were of excellent quality and the diary organizers were thoughtful and helpful.

Matrikas products are elegant, convenient to use with appealing covers.

To register yourself and receive such wonderful books, all you have to do is click on the below link (Open till 6^th October)

https://www.facebook.com/MatrikasPaperProducts/app_190322544333196

My Book List

Trying to select 10 favorite books from all the books that I have read is like asking a mother to pick her favorite child. I started reading when I was around 14 years and my favorite haunt to pick books was the City Central Library next to Aloysious College in Mangalore. Unfortunately some books that I read during that period remains as a blurred memory in my mind, but the fact that I still remember reading them is enough to suggest that these books have created an impact on me.

My small but precious collection of books

So without further ado, here’s my list of 10 favorite books-

1) Harry Potter series by J K Rowling- Harry Potter books are magical, and if I had to choose one book from the series then it would be ‘The Deathly Hallows’ because many of my “Why, my God Why?” questions were finally answered!

2) Nancy Drew and Hardy Boy series- I absolutely loved these detective series and I just couldn’t get enough of them. I even tried writing something on similar lines when I was a teenager J

3) Slugs by Shaun Hutson- This was one of the books that I read very early in my life but I still remember it so vividly. This was also one of the first books where I came upon a sex scene in the book and I recollect being secretly embarrassed and excited reading through the pages.

4) Can You Keep a Secret by Sophie Kinsella- I love books that make me laugh and this book, which I read recently, made me laugh out loud, thus inviting strange stares at home and in public places. I had a huge crush on Jack Harper, the male protagonist and if ever, I had a boy friend then it would be someone like Jack Harper J

5) Catherine Alliot’s Rosie Meadows Regrets and Olivia’s Luck- I think my love for chick lit started with Alliot’s books and I remember laughing and reading the books that I had borrowed from the local circulating library.

6) Sidney Sheldon- During one phase of my life, I have read nothing but Sidney Sheldon. I have devoured his books morning, noon and night. My favorite, if I had to name one, would be Tell Me Your Dreams.

7) Khaled Hosseini’s The Kite Runner- I read this last week and even though I had loved his ‘And the Mountains Echoed’, I found the narration by multiple characters slightly disorienting. But The Kite Runner was absolutely riveting. There was a lump in my throat as I finished the book. I avoid sad stories but there was a line in this book that could be aptly used for this poignant book- Sad stories make great books.

8) James Patterson-Alex Cross series. Ok, I admit! James Patterson books are like junk food, you want to stop reading them because at some point you realize that his books more or less follow the same protocol but still you cannot stop picking up his books. I got addicted to them after reading the first two in the series- Along Came a Spider and Kiss the Girls which I still think were his best works in Alex Cross series.

9) Q & A by Vikas Swarup- I have watched the movie and read the book and the book is a million times better than the movie. I did pick his “Six Suspects” but unfortunately it was a sore disappointment.

10) Enid Blyton- I think my childhood wouldn’t be the same if I hadn’t discovered Enid Blyton’s books. Secret Seven, Famous Five, Malory Towers- all these books gave me company on those sweltering summer holidays, under the mango trees. How I wish I could turn back time and return to those wonderful days!

Reading and coming across good books is a journey that I would never want to end. As I write this post I look forward to reading the couple of books that I have ordered- Train To Pakistan by Khushwant Singh, The Silkworm by Robert Galbraith and Fault in Our Stars by John Green and hope that these books find a place in my heart along with the other countless books that I have read J

If My Dad was a politician

My dad expired when I was very young, so my premise would be based on my mother being a politician. After all, our land is a secular and democratic country which provides equal opportunities for men and women.

So if my mom was a politician, here are a few things that I would be guarded and wary about

I would be extremely careful about what I speak, especially in the presence of media. There are many politician’s sons and daughters who have unnecessarily opened their trap in front of media and have been at the receiving ends of brickbats from public. So I would think before I speak or act. If I’m not aware of a topic or an issue I would prefer giving a “No Comments” remark than put my foot in my mouth.

I would also be wary about my safety. Politicians, especially good ones, have quite a lot of enemies. And this would mean eminent danger to my life. Come to think of it, maybe I can persuade my mom to choose another profession. I don’t want to live under the shadows of bodyguards and fear of perpetual threat to my life.

I would ensure that I would be a people’s man (or in my case woman). After all if my mom is a politician then I would be expected to accept the mantle at some time. In India, power, fame and money are passed on by legacy. Assumedly I would want myself to be groomed so that when I take over from my mother, the transition would be smooth and glitch free.

Now coming to the changes that I would want to see when my mother is in power. This is a long list, but quite a few are need of the hour.

Corruption: Corruption is a slow disease that has spread and deep-rooted itself in our country’s foundation. As any pandemic disease, this too will take time and sincere efforts to get rid of but, I believe it’s possible. If every citizen of this country refuses to bribe an official to get their work done then it can be achieved. Our country can be corruption-free. Also, there needs to be independent organizations which have to be exempted from the control of the politicians.

Rules made by corrupt politicians who themselves flout the rules is a paradox in India. The main bodies, like Lokayukta, CBI and other organizations which control crime and corruption should be freed from the clutches of the greedy politicians. 

Crimes against Women: This is another monster that has raised its head in recent time, although it was prevalent from a long time, there were very few cases that were reported or brought forward to attention. But since the Delhi gang rape case, there are more and more women wanting to fight against this horrible, heinous act that they were victimized to.  This is a good time to act swiftly and bring changes so that women of our country can feel safe and enjoy the freedom that they are entitled to.

Fast-track courts, reviving our old and archaic laws, stricter punishments for eve-teasing, molestation cases, effective and committed police force who can act rapidly are some measures that has to be taken immediately.

Better economy: India is an agrarian country but it’s distressing when farmers commit suicide because they couldn’t survive in a country which is transforming itself rapidly into primarily an urban, industrial society with industry as its main source of income. Poor monsoons, lack of guidance and help from the government, and exploitation of farmers by middlemen are some causes of distress for the poverty-stricken farmer. Agriculture and industrialization has to grow hand-in-hand in India. One cannot survive without the other. 

Necessary food items have become inaccessible to people below the poverty line. Having realistic standards are must. I mean I live in India, I couldn’t make a statement that any person with daily consumption expenditure above Rs. 30 does not come under the BPL cover and hence is not entitled to any benefits. Rs. 30 is too low a benchmark for defining BPL.  

Unemployment and recession: The recession rate in our country is scary and the Indian job scene is dismaying. Many parents push their children to pursue either engineering or medicine because they think that any other degree would not fetch a “good paying” job. The government jobs are either reserved or require a hefty bribe to be secured. The government needs to encourage youth towards self-employment by providing loans with lower rate of interest and any other guidance required. 

Education for all: Today’s children are tomorrow’s citizen. And by providing a decent education to children we are empowering the youth of tomorrow. We need to leave better citizen for our country. There are millions of children who cannot afford education, they are forced to work, the little tiny hands that should have held a pencil are given heavy tools to carry or dirty glasses to wash. I would ensure that there are free government schools run even in remote areas where there would be other perks, like free lunch and free books, which would encourage parents to send their children to school.

A green country is my country: Industrialization, urbanization is all essential for a country’s growth and development. But preserving our land’s green nature and wildlife is imperative too. Deforestation and illegal poaching of animals can have adverse effects on human population and, this is occurring in recent times. Decrease of rain fall, environment changes, depleting oxygen levels, global warming and imbalance in the food chain are just the beginning if the greenery around us continues to vanish.

There are a lot of improvement areas that our country is in dire need. And taking baby steps towards it gradually and slowly will make our country truly developed and exemplary.

This post is written for the Weekend Contest in association with Shoes of The Dead at BlogAdda.com.

A Woman's right to live life with dignity

When I read about the Delhi gang rape I was shocked as was the entire nation. I quickly logged onto the blogosphere to check the reaction of my fellow bloggers. Anger, rightly justified, was the main reaction that many displayed. Anger at the 6(although the initial reports mentioned 7) barbaric men, anger at the police for not being vigilant enough, anger at the politicians for not giving importance to public safety. Thousands of young men and women are thronging the streets in Delhi enduring the water and teargas shells from the police force. Some are advising on measures to be taken to ensure that such incidents are not repeated in future. Removal of tinted glasses from public vehicles, buses plying on roads only for women, more police patrolling at nights are some of the remedial measures that were suggested. 

Some suggested that these things will happen until we teach our younger generation to respect women. I agree. I also read a blogger protesting against some people calling the 6 men as animals. It’s an insult to animals, I agreed. In fact I agreed to most of the opinions posted by bloggers, I dint have anything new to contribute to the matter, so I chose not to write on it. But as a week progressed and the agitation grew it was difficult to maintain my silence. So no matter even if I repeat or reiterate what most of my friends wrote, I had to write because I am a woman and at some point of my life, I have been groped and pinched in a bus or in a crowd and it’s my time to speak up now.

The more I thought about it the more I felt depressed because in a country like India there’s no permanent solution to rape. Forget about this single incident of Delhi rape case; let’s talk about rape in general. Tomorrow the media will get a better topic to talk about and they’ll forget about it, the public will forget about it, the politicians will forget about it. The girl (I refuse to call her a victim, she’s a fighter, she’s a survivor) will alone have to deal with it. She’s just 23 years old, damn it. I have to control my feelings, keep my anger in check because anger never leads to any permanent solution. We can have our revenge against those 6 men, we can demand for chemical castration, we can ask for public hanging, but will it really deter men from committing same crimes. I am not so sure. 

I also read that we need to instill good family values to our children, to teach our sons that their sisters are equal to them and the rules won’t be relaxed just because they are boys. If their sisters can be given a 9PM curfew time then the same rule will apply to them too. Yes I definitely agree, but “we” here refers to me and you, who are educated and believe that women have equal rights to freedom as men. But in a country where girls are killed even before they are born, I don’t think instilling such beliefs will happen. I mean, what will a father who regularly thrashes his wife teach his son? What will a mother who silently suffers her husband’s physical and verbal abuse teach her daughter? Most of Indian families still have a patriarchal system and to teach our kids that women are equal to men, the family has to believe in this.

Then there are a few morons who still believe that a woman’s dressing or her behavior is a contributing factor to rape. I would tell these morons to wake up, 5 year old girls are being raped and I don’t think that they are actually asking for it by dressing in short skirts and tank tops. The Delhi girl had a male companion with her and still she was raped. This did not deter the rapists, right? So the theory that women travelling alone at night are actually titillating men is total rubbish.

What can we do to stop such heinous crimes from occurring? I am not sure and as dismal as it sounds, I don’t think in a country like India we can completely get rid of it. The truth is I am scared for myself and my daughter. I am not so naïve to think that this may not happen to me. Rape has become everyday news and its scaring me. I will enroll myself in a self defense class for sure. I will teach my child to be aware and educate her about good touch, bad touch. But I don’t want to live in fear, I have a right to live with freedom as much as anyone else. Every time I come home late from office, I don’t want to call my husband just because I am scared to travel alone at night. 

I AM A WOMAN AND I HAVE THE RIGHT TO MY FREEDOM, RIGHT TO LIVE MY LIFE WITH DIGNITY.