Sunday, February 27, 2011

Arranged Marriage or Love Marriage

When a person is asked about his or her marital status and the answer comes back as "married", I am pretty sure the next question would be "Arranged or Love". If the answer is arranged, everyone has a bored look and if its love then there would be the next barrage of questions (like, "Where did you guys meet", "Who proposed first", "Was there any opposition" and so on...). For me the only difference between the two types of marriages is, in arrange marriage you are marrying an unknown devil and in love you are bounded to a known devil :).

In India, there is still a lot of taboo attached to love marriages, especially in rural states where religion is a major factor in everyday life. Before falling in love it’s very important to find out if the boy/girl belongs to your caste, sub-caste (and in some case sub-sub caste!!!), is matching your horoscope and other similar things. Most of the 'love-married' couples that I have come across have seen some kind of parental opposition, but obviously they have overcome it and that's why they are together.

Parents are just not used to the idea of their children selecting their own life partners. I guess in the future, (when present kids reach marriageable age) same-sex marriages will be considered as taboo as love marriages today :)...

Each has their own pros and cons. In case of arranged marriage, the couple could use their parent's help at the time of financial crises or other problems. If the marriage is a failure, they have a number of people around them to seek support (or to put the blame on) :). In case of love marriage, couples would have to tackle all their crises on their own, because they might have been separated from their family. In love marriages couples develop a good comfort level soon after marriage, since they would have known each other for a long time. On the other hand, for two strangers, when their marriage is fixed by their parents, they will take more time to understand each other after their marriage. If you ask me which is lesser of the two evils, I would definitely opt for love marriage (I still prefer to marry a known devil), but again this decided by fate and the Almighty's decision.

Finally, I would say that it does not matter whether you are being pushed in a dungeon or you fall in the dungeon due to your own will, where do you finally land up? Take your guess!!!


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