Tuesday, March 4, 2014

WriteTribe Festival of Words Day 3- Free Write and Some Cathartic Writing


I'm taking part in the Write Tribe Festival of Words -3
 Day 3 Prompt- Free Write

Today is Day 3 of Write Tribe Festival ofWords and today's prompt is Free Write. To be honest I had no idea what Free Write is but fortunately Corrine  included a link where Suzy Que had kindly explained the meaning of Free Write(you can look it up here) and it looked intriguing. So this is my 15 minutes of free write-

It’s 9.19 AM and I’m alone in my deserted office beginning another dreary day in my tiny cubicle. Some days I have to actually drag myself to office and most Mondays the first thought that I have, as soon as I get up, is that I have to go to office and that thought itself is enough to make me pull the duvet over my head and sleep for eternity.

I have been working in IT since 2006 but of late there’s a growing sense of discontentment and a feeling of being trapped inside my office that refuses to leave my side. I have tried all means of self-motivation but the feeling just returns to haunt me after some days. A few weeks back, I was so depressed that I blurted out the truth to my husband and we knew that it was serious. It was then that I decided to either quit IT altogether or just have a change of job.

With the kind of financial commitments lurking around us, I’m sure that I cannot sit at home but I’m thinking of taking up another field of profession. I felt terrible for being in early 30s and having thoughts of changing my line of work completely. But after reading few articles on the net, I felt relieved knowing that there are lot of people who have the same thoughts in their 30s.

It does amaze me, when I care to ponder over it, that something I had loved in the beginning and felt that this was what I had always wanted to do, is creating this gnawing discontent within me. In the first 5 years of IT, I was so enthused; I remember that I used to work on Saturdays and sometimes even Sundays. I used to swipe my ID card at 9.15 AM in the morning every day and I used to never leave office before 8.45 PM. Of course that was before my marriage and my kid. But I wanted to work; I wanted to excel at what I was doing.

And now I just consider this my job, something that I get paid for. I guess our feelings change, just like people change over the years. But I know this for sure, as I sit in my cramped cubicle, typing out the words flowing hastily from my mind, a job that does not make you cringe the first thing you get up in the morning, a job that does not make you pull your hairs out in frustration, a job that does not get you depressed by evening, is a job for keeps.

But then again do such jobs exist?

It’s only in the evenings that I can relax when I usually think of fun ways to end the day. Like yesterday, my husband and I were returning home and we saw ‘99 varieties of dosa’ in a roadside stall. Despite my initial reluctance to eat from a roadside stall, I tasted a Gobi-Paneer-Butter Masala Dosa and I have to admit it was scrumptious.

Can you decipher my expression, what I'm trying to say when eating the dosa

14 comments:

  1. I can so resonate with your thoughts on coming to work every day and thinking if you are in the right profession!

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    1. I know but for me it has reached beyond levels of tolerance :(

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  2. It does happen I guess... The monotony of job gets to u...perhaps u need to figure what or is it all of it about your job that gets you frustrated.
    N I love the pic...never had or heard of a gobi-paneer butter masala cosa...yum! :)

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    1. Yeah I am figuring it out. The dosa was one of the 99 varieties of dosa sold in the stall :)

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  3. I go with your thoughts completely. Being in 30s and thinking of taking up a new job is really tough. I know that kind of a feeling, because I'm in late twenties, and I already have that !

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    1. I know but because of financial commitments my husband and I are thinking a lot of the next steps. Thank you for the comment :)

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  4. You are not alone. Everyone goes through that phase of discontent. Take your time, think it over and do what your heart tells you. Ultimately, only you would know how you would feel a week, a month or a year after that decision. Good luck :)

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    1. Thank you Shailaja, I'm thinking it over thoroughly and maybe I would take a break of a month or two before deciding.

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  5. Think about it . Decide and take risks. Dont be scared of the outcome. Life is too short to be spent worrying

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    1. Thank you Jaish. I'm thinking of taking a break for a month or two. The current situation is too suffocating for me :(

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  6. Well, I wonder this every single day. Some days my answer is in affirmative for I love my job those days and the rest I feel like just running away!
    And here we have a place called "PAI DOSA" 155 varieties of dosa man!!!!!!!!

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    1. I just feel like running away every day :( 155 varieties of dosa! Wow, now I want to try them out :P

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  7. I just took up a job as a teacher after a very long break. I left the previous jobs for the very same reason. :) And I turned 40 last December. :)

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    1. I used to work as a lecturer before joining IT. I am seriously considering returning back to my previous profession now :)

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