One year of the roller coaster ride

Dear Advika,

In few days you’ll be a year old and although it’s difficult for me to believe a year has passed, your presence in my life makes me realize that you are growing at a rate faster than I can apprehend. 

It just feels like couple of days before that I was pushing and grunting in the scorching summer heat of Mangalore in the labor room and after what seemed like ages you decided to make your grand entry. You literally dropped on to the delivery table and your pediatrician lifted you gingerly and showed you to me. 

There you were covered in the red gooey stuff, with your skin all shriveled and the only thought that came to mind was, how beautiful you were. It’s true when they say that there’s only one beautiful child in the world and every mother has it.

Clicked just minutes after she was born

 As I kissed your forehead, I uttered only one sentence, ‘she’s beautiful’. And beautiful you were, with your tiny hands, your eyes still closed partially, your soft rosy cheeks and your cherry red lips. I fell in love with you then. 

But our love story took time to take flight. It took time for us to bond and although your mother was exasperated by the new elevated status of motherhood and all the responsibility that it brings along, I could feel the tug of love towards you.

 Life with you in this past year has been a roller coaster ride. There have been moments when I have cried with exhaustion and fatigue. And there were moments when I have wanted to jump and dance with joy, moments when I was proud of you and some moments of embarrassments too.

My favorite chair is hers to occupy now

I still remember the day when you first turned over; the day when you first sat upright and fell behind; the day when you took your first step or the day when you first uttered ‘Amma’. I also remember the day when you had your first major fall and your mouth was covered in blood. I was shaking all over with fear and did not leave your side the whole day.

 I remember the day when I had to leave you back and had to resume my work. I was crying and shedding copious tears but you managed without your mother splendidly.

Annaprashana (a Hindu ritual that that marks an infant's first intake of food other than milk)

I remember the first night we had to stay separately and I was sick with worry about you. I love the way you stay put in my arms when I coo to you and you talk to me in your garbled vocabulary.

When I come home from office I love the way you smile and hug me and refuse to budge until I pick you up. It gratifies me to think that you miss me too. 

A perfect click and one of my favorites too.

I love the way when I feed you, your tiny fingers hold my finger as if you are pacified just by the thought that I am beside you.

Advika @ 6 months

I love the way a smile plays on my lips whenever I think about you in office and the moment anyone mentions you, I can start a tirade of all your escapades until the other person has to literally ask me to shut up.

I love the way you have turned my life topsy-turvy and made it more endurable.Life before you, my dear daughter, was good but, after you made your appearance in my life, it is close to perfect.