Long back I had read a novel by Emily Giffin titled “Baby Proof”. It was about a woman who wasn’t particularly fond of children and had a pact with her fiancé that neither would want any children after their marriage. But few years down the line her husband has a change of heart and even goes to the extent of breaking his marriage because his wife would not bear him children. The book wasn’t anything great but I was seriously left wondering if there are women who wouldn’t want to have children.
At that time my daughter, Adi, was 6 months old and she was the ultimate source of joy and happiness in my life. Don’t get me wrong, she is even today. But now that she is just over a year, I can totally relate to a woman if she comes to me and says that she wouldn’t want to have children after marriage.
So what brought about this change in my mindset? My daughter is no tyrant, she is difficult sometimes but which kid isn’t? What I have realized is that to bring up a child one needs to possess plenty of patience, fortitude and tolerance. Believe me, there were days when I hadn’t had a wink of sleep throughout the night and those days I was not a person anyone would want to greet. Of course things have improved, now that Adi sleeps better at nights. But there are days when I want to pull my hair out and just fall on the bed and sleep for eternity.
I don’t blame her though, she doesn’t see me all day so naturally she’s all excited to see her mamma, and all I want to do once I’m home is put my feet up, drink a hot cup of tea and watch a sitcom on TV.
So when a lady says that she loves her life too much to have a baby or that she wouldn’t be able to sacrifice her life for the sake of a baby, I understand.
If you are not ready for a baby you shouldn’t have one. Period. And no one should force you into having one too. Not your husband, not your in-laws, not your mother and definitely not those pesky aunties.
A few days ago I read somewhere that a two year old baby had died after her parents had locked her in a car and went shopping for hours. When they came back, the baby had died out of suffocation.
I shudder to think what kind of irresponsible parents would do that to their own child.
If you are simply not ready to have a child, or you love your freedom to an extent that you wouldn’t want to sacrifice it at any cost, then don’t have a child. What’s the big deal? Your neighbors would judge you, your in-laws wouldn’t be too happy, your spouse wouldn’t be that thrilled .You would have to go through the major changes in your body that pregnancy brings along. And unless those people who demand that you bear a child are ready to carry the child for 9 months in their womb, ready to suffer morning-sickness and all those pregnancy discomforts, stand tall and don’t give in to the demands.
Bringing up a child is no child’s play and unless you are ready for the drastic changes in your life then you shouldn’t have one.
Source: All quotes from http://www.prolificliving.com.